I knew it had been a while since I last wrote, but I guess I didn’t realize quite how long it had been until today. Over two months…almost three! It’s hard to believe that we have now been home almost as long as we were in the jungle. We miss it. We miss it a lot. Don’t get me wrong…there are so many things that we LOVE about being home in the States, but what many people don’t understand is that there are so many things that we LOVE about home in the jungle. Maybe my posts never conveyed that. I’ve had quite a few people tell me that they couldn’t believe how honest I was in my posts or that I was “allowed” to say what I said. … almost as if I shouldn’t have been writing what I was or sharing how I did.

That discouraged me.

Isn’t life about being real? We spend so much energy wearing masks and sugar coating things. But how can we grow and learn from each other and really share the journey if we’re not real?

I’ve had other people that read of my struggles and inferred that I hated our time in the jungle. I am so, so sorry if that is what came across. There are so many things I loved about being in the jungle. The idea that I hated our time in the jungle couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, there were many trying situations, and it certainly was an adjustment, but I believe with all of my heart that God had us there for a reason. I would never trade all that He taught us and the ways He grew us and our time there for anything in the world!

Though many might not agree with how I shared, and though that disapproval does discourage me, I don’t–and wouldn’t–take back what I wrote. Writing for me is a way of processing. It’s a way of making sense of what God is doing and teaching me. It’s a way of finding myself and being “real,” especially when it might be hard to be that real in person. And it’s a way of recording the little (and BIG) details of my Abba’s incredible faithfulness.

So I write…and I try not to hold back…because I want you to know that life is hard and struggles are present, but our God is good! And that makes it all worth it. Though the struggle may be overwhelming at times and the circumstances dark, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is there with me. He has allowed it for a reason, and He is using it for my good. For ‘if there was a better, easier, or faster way to teach me what He is trying to teach me, He would do that’ (paraphrase from Chip Ingram’s podcast God as He Longs for You to See Him)!

So I write…and I will continue to write.

Stay tuned for updates about the past 2.5 months … and the coming addition! Baby #2 is due soon…very, very soon! 🙂

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